Independence is happiness.

Susan B. Anthony

There is a misconception that most people have about being in a relationship, either as simple as just dating or even in a long term one as marriage.
We sometimes think that the fact that we cannot do well alone means that we need someone.

And that is far from the truth.

We need to realize that there is a massive difference between being alone and being lonely.

If you feel alone, but do well with yourself and your life in general, then you can begin to think of sharing your amazing life with someone else. However, if you are lonely; and cannot figure yourself out, what you need is definitely not a partner.

Being Alone, according to The Free Dictionary is the also referred to as Solitude (the quality of staying remote of others) while it defines loneliness as the feeling of dejection.
I have met angry, unhappy and desperate for attention people who think that being in a relationship is the answer to their discontentment about their lives, but I always just wish they knew it isn’t.

They are so desperate to settle down, that they pay no attention to who you are. They don’t put in the work, they just want to fast-forward to the wedding day. They sometimes act like their life is the way it is because they haven’t found love. They don’t know how to show that they love you.

Almost feels like they need a trophy woman/man to feel complete.

Those types of people are the hardest to love. Hardest!

You need to know that who you are as a single person is what magnifies when you are with someone else.
You might be in the free space of absolute magic for a while, but once the feeling subsides, the person you were as a single will push through.

Love from others can help make you feel better temporarily, but self love is what will make you accept the love from a good place.

You will not be able to show love or receive, if you are in conflict with who you are.
You are either going to feel like you don’t deserve it, or maybe feel like what they are giving is never enough, no matter how the person tries to show you.

While I have read that it’s a myth to say the only people who understand self-love should seek romantic love, I think the myth refers to when you are too self-absorbed.
Self absorbed people most likely are too in-love with themselves and sometimes can tend towards being too self-centered.

That’s not what we mean here.

Simply put, if you are not happy about who you are as a single person, either emotionally, financially, career-wise, and so on; you should fix that part of your life before you share it with someone else.

Of course, your relationship SHOULD make things better for you in all aspects, but it isn’t going to save you. It is only going to make better what is already good.

No one is ever going to be able to make you good enough to be happy. You have to put in the work.

Finally, it’s actually unfair to want someone to do the job of fixing you, when they fixed themselves just so they can enjoy life with you.
Don’t be so much work for someone else to deal with. It will begin to feel like too much work and they either will withdraw or get frustrated and bitter trying to do what only you can do.

Fix yourself and be the happy partner that make love feel beautiful.

Photo Credit: Pixabay
The Single ‘You’ is the Married ‘You’ | No magic! No Saviour!
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