I remember I met someone I really liked and on our fifth or sixth date, he said; “You really look good, and it would be a privilege to call you mine’.
That statement sounded good right?
Yeah, until after like 10 mins I ordered fries and fried chicken, and he said ‘You should watch your diet, fat won’t look good on you’.
‘I can’t stand fat women’, he added.
Kai! My senses flew out. I was so irritated. I got full immediately.
He noticed and then said, “I hope you don’t take that to heart, just wanted to let you know that I really can’t stand fat women’.
Then he continued, is there something you can’t stand in a man?
I replied, ‘a rude man’.
Gosh! That was the beginning of the end of friendship.
First, how on earth do you tell someone you are just getting to know to watch her diet? And what do you mean by you can’t stand fat women???
It only shows that you are going to be a very rude person. All the ‘niceness’ is just a facade and will soon turn to emotional abuse.
Secondly, it just shows how shallow he is; and that level of shallow, only God can heal.
(It ain’t my work).
Thirdly, what if I end up getting fat, you won’t respect, love or treat me as I deserved again?
And that made me realize that he didn’t really understand what LOVE means.
To me, love is saying ‘I love you exactly as you are and although I want you to stay this pretty, handsome, rich, and so on; I will still love you if they changed’.
If your love isn’t deeper than the container, then, you can as well end the relationship now.
Furthermore, I realized that he lives for the ‘Jones’.
He wants a picture perfect lifestyle because I remember that he would always stylishly ask me about my outfit anytime we are meant to go out.
And a particular day, when he picked me up so we could go see a movie, he had a disappointing look. He couldn’t even greet me properly. Then he said he didn’t like my outfit and would prefer if I wore a dress and not jeans.
Whew! I should have known because this happened before the ‘diet’ statement.
Of course, I didn’t change because I thought I looked cool and pretty. Who dresses up to watch a night movie?
It began to feel like he wanted to go out to so many places with me, so he can show me off. At first it was charming, but then it became a problem.
I felt like I was dealing with someone who had a fetish for my type of girls.
Anyway, looking back now and looking at in the mirror and seeing all the fat sticking out from different corners… LOL, I am glad I didn’t take him seriously. I would have been struggling with self-identity because he would have nagged me out.
In conclusion, don’t let people who claim to want/need or love you determine how you should look or feel.
Don’t let them pick your job, your friends, your engagements, your hobbies, and so on.
Don’t be a prisoner of their supposed perfection. Love isn’t bondage, it is supposed to set you free.
P.S – This article is inspired by a friend of mine who is constantly working on trying to fit her boyfriend’s status because he is always complaining that she doesn’t look like she belongs beside him.
By the way girlfriend, you always look great and more importantly, you are one of the most genuine persons I have he honor of having in my life.
I hope that you realize that if he can’t love you for who and what you are, he isn’t the ONE.
A good partner doesn’t break the other person by emphasizing on their weakness. They celebrate your strength while they nurture you to overcome the weaknesses.
Photo Credit: Pixabay