Sexual harassment in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, is when an unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks is made (typically to women).
I was going through the #MeToo hashtag and the horrible stories of sexual harassment, and I just could not help but remember some of mine.
I really hope we are doing great at raising our boys to be kings; because we didn’t have much of these kings growing up.
(No offense intended).
I’m just going to list out the scenarios, and although I look back and laugh now; it was one of the most upsetting things to experience then.
You try it, I let you stop and apologize immediately. If I can’t make you apologize, I walk out after I make you realize what you have done.
There is absolutely nothing that I want or need right now, that will make me condone sexual harassment.
I am not going to have it. (Emphasis on NOT).
Anyway, here are the few times I felt sexually harassed.
- In secondary school when my teacher was always winking at me while he was teaching 🤢.
- When a teacher in secondary school made me his class rep, so I could visit his office more often; and he would ask if he could touch my face while he closed his eyes and bit his lips in a sexual way 🤢🤢.
- In University when my HOD asked if he could touch me sexually in his office 🤢🤢🤢.
- In University when classmates would make obscene remarks about a part of my body 🤢🤢.
- During NYSC when the principal of the school I worked for suddenly grabbed my boobs in his office 🤕.
- When I started working and my boss would send me kisses/hugs/winks/love icons/texts while in a meeting with him 🤢.
- At work, when a boss asked if I could give him a hug because he really can’t concentrate 🤢🤢.
- When I was pregnant and my boss’ friend walked over to my table after a meeting and said ‘You still look so sexy even pregnant” and gave me a wink 🤢🤢🤢🤢.
- At a client’s place and he told me, ‘I would be able to listen if we spoke about this in a closed room with less clothes’ 🤢🤢.
- When my former gynecologist after a routine, said ‘ You look sexy inside as you are on the outside’🤢🤢🤢🤢.
See ehn, these are probably the few times I was sexually harassed. And every lady most likely have a list too.
What I learnt is that it took me time to be bold/courageous enough to let them know it was wrong. Most times, I just massaged their ego and managed them right when I could have been a little more harsh.
(Maybe because the majority of those times, I was caught off-guard).
I hope I never get to experience this again. It’s more painful when it comes from someone you need to keep seeing or working for. It’s so painful, because you can’t make them stop.
Again, I hope we raise fine young men so that our girls don’t have to experience this nonsense.
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