Divorce or separation is said to be one of the most horrible experiences anyone could go through, especially because life and its obligations demand that you adjust fast and move on like nothing major happened, when in fact you are living a new life.
Mental health actually says it equals the grieving experienced when you lose a loved one to death.
So, it is important that you find ways to cope with the divorce or separation and still live a great life, despite the feeling of extreme hurt and failure.
It might be hard, very hard to cope with life after a divorce or while separated, but it is very possible to cope with divorce.
Tips for coping with divorce
- Create a daily plan to enable you focus on what’s important. It also gives you the reason to stay up and motivated, rather than depressed.
- You have to give yourself enough time to go through divorce. You can’t ignore, fast-forward or berate how you feel. It will hurt and it will take time to let go of the hurt, don’t rush yourself to feel better and don’t make yourself feel worse for feeling bad.
- Take back your thought process with careful consideration and let go of the things you can’t control. Learn to deal better with your emotions and how you react, especially to things that are beyond you, like the legal system, your ex, etc.
- Some people totally will start avoiding you because you are going through a divorce, while some will step up and be with you every step of the day. Stay with the ones that support you every step of the way. Don’t go through divorce alone.
- Realize that you are not married to your ex again, and so their behaviors should not have any impact or effect on you. (Except it has to do with co-parenting). Don’t let who they are, get to you; you are not married to them again.
- Don’t stuck them on social media. It will only be a distraction that will slow down your healing process.
- Create your own reason while the marriage ended rather than waiting for your partner to give you a reason that might not exist. This way, you can create your own closure.
- Realize that you are going through one of the most emotionally, draining and exhausting experience and you will need to create a life that you (and your children) will be happy with. The better you take care of yourself when going through divorce, the better you are likely to feel.
- Avoid arguments or fights with your ex. They will only drain you further.
- Understand that you will have multiple emotions running, almost at the same time; and it’s fine. You will feel all kinds of way because going through uncertainty is definitely frightening.
- Give yourself a break, no matter how little it is. You need time to heal, re-group and re-energize.
- Realize that although you shouldn’t care about what people think, you will for a while.
- You don’t need anyone for your life to fall into place. Work on your life, career, emotions, kids and all. When they fall into place, you will meet someone.
- You will love your life again, and it’s okay to agree that it ‘sucks’ right now.
- Don’t involve the kids, help them grow up to love both parents unconditionally.
- You are very vulnerable to fall into another bad relationship, be careful and realize that you deserve the best.
Nancy Micheal after sixteen years and three children in marriage, was asked by her husband for divorce, and he gave no reason.
He just didn’t give her and the kids the reason why he wanted to leave.
Months after divorce, Nancy was down with a terrible illness that almost made her lose her life; and risked her losing custody of the kids permanently.
Almost four years after, she is better health-wise, she regained the custody of her three children, bought herself a house and she owns a web site exclusively for women over 40 going through divorce.
So, it might be tough right now, but you can cope with divorce and come out better and stronger as an individual.
(P.s – this isn’t saying divorce is an option or not. And you need to know you can’t determine what is an option for anyone except that person is you).
Photo Credit: Pixabay