I know that we all have a past, and we all should try as much as possible to not judge people based on their past. But to what extent is forgetting one’s past too much?
A friend’s colleague met a caring guy through a mutual friend and after 13 months of dating, the friend told her that she needed to ask the guy about his past, just so she doesn’t blame her for introducing such person to her.
She quickly added that she knew about the story because she is the guy’s family friend and can confirm that he is a changed man.
At first, she didn’t understand why the guy whom they had discussed all issues, would be keeping anything away from her. So, she replied that they had discussed everything.
Then she asked her to give her a hint, so she knows exactly what she was talking about. She pleaded that she didn’t want to give the guy the impression that they were gossiping about him.
And so, the friend replied that the guy was almost jailed for a crime, and is only left free because the family that was involved decided to let go.
Shocked, but didn’t want to look like she didn’t know the man she claims to love; she thanked the friend and of course, went straight to ask her man.
Anyway, long story short, the guy told her how he MISTAKENLY raped his neighbor’s 10year old daughter, whom they left in his watch some years back.
Yeah, he said it happened 6years ago and he is a changed man.
She asked him if he had done that before and he replied that he had never raped a child before; however, he raped his flat mate when he was in school.
He promised that he is changed.
He also said he didn’t know why he did what he did, but he has since acknowledged that he has the tendency to rape; and has gotten help.
(Still going through some form of help).
So, now she wants an advice or maybe wants to know what my friend would do if she was the one caught in this web.
First, let’s rewind.
He raped his flat mate; and then raped a child almost a decade after that.
Now, he is claiming he got help and has changed. (Yet, it’s just 6years since the last occurrence).
If she asked me, I would scream; RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
I know that he might have changed for real, but I also know that he might not have.
What if one day you leave your sister or your friend with him, and he all of a sudden has that ‘demon’ over him again?
(He is going to tell you he didn’t know what came over him).
Secondly, if a man can be possessed by whatever demon to rape anyone, talk more a child; then he needs numerous help before he can call himself free.
He might just be sober, but being sober doesn’t necessarily mean that he has repented deep down or perhaps dealt with the source.
Lastly, when a Nigerian says he has gotten help on issues as this, make sure you clarify what the help is.
It might just be a therapy with a counselor who doesn’t really understand how to deal with such issues.
Yes, I know we all have a past, but having a past like that is too much for me.
I most likely will run.
I don’t want to ever get insecure around you, or have my family and friends in danger just because you might be that person again.
(Same goes for anyone who has murdered anyone before. Not manslaughter o, murder. I won’t be able to believe you have changed).
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