Stop crying, Stop Crying. Your crying will not solve anything, if anything, it’s only going to make daddy get angrier. I need the two of you to get inside now and stop crying or I am going to hit you both.
My name is Bunmi and I am the first child of the Adeyiwolas. I am 14 years old and as far back as I can remember, my father has always been a terror in the house and my mother, a weak/wounded animal. I have had to be the stable parent for my two sisters.
“Okay Big Sis, they echoed as they rushed to their rooms. Please come with us Sis, let’s go in together.” They both looked so scared.
Tolani and Wura Adeyiwola:
Tolani and Wura are my sisters. They are 9 years and 6 years old respectively. They are like my daughters, they adore me, they look up to me; and you won’t blame them because mother and father are too busy fighting their demons to look after them emotionally.
“Bunmi get in here,” my father screamed. “Bunmi, Bunmi, Bunmi…” He kept screaming, but I didn’t know if I wanted to answer or just stay in with my sisters.
Wura and Tolani became more frightened and held on to me, they kept screaming and crying uncontrollably.
Don’t leave us Sis, don’t leave us here.
The door got kicked open and father bashed in furious, but as he wanted to speak, he saw my sisters’ fearful eyes, and he turned around, shut the door and left.
Segun Adeyiwola is my father. A Lawyer. He is the terror. He is the one man I loved first, yet hated the most. He is the one that taught me what love is, yet shows me exactly the opposite of that. Segun Adeyiwola is the reason I am where I am today, or maybe not.
“Leave Bunmi out of it,” my mother screamed behind my father who was now throwing things out the door. “Leave my daughter out of this, and I am not going anywhere without my three girls. There is no way you are going to throw me out of the house and expect me to leave without my girls.
“I didn’t do anything wrong, all I did was confront you for giving me a sexually transmitted disease. Don’t I have the right to know? And why do you blame it on the poor fourteen-year-old-girl who simply told me she saw Caro leaving the bedroom? Why is Caro even in this house in the first place? Isn’t she your co-worker?”
Then my mother started crying uncontrollably, and beneath her crying; I could hear what seemed like a plea.
She began to whisper to him not to throw her out. “I have nowhere to go. I can’t leave my girls. Please don’t throw me out. I’m sorry for asking”, she said.
Ashabi is my mother. Just as the meaning of the name, she is the sweetest human to walk the planet. Sometimes, I feel she is too sweet for the harsh realities of the planet.
She is constantly working on improving how she loves others, she didn’t care if she was loved back. She married at 22years old to a man who couldn’t even love himself. She got married not ready to take the world by the horns.
She is a primary school teacher, but never has enough to feed herself or the kids when her husband is not around because she is busy paying his debts. She wants to be enough, but doesn’t know how to be enough for herself talk more of everyone who looked up to her, including I and my sisters.
“Get out of my house woman. All I have done is manage you and your incomplete self, and you dare confront me in front of the kids? Why are you now begging secretly? Who do you think was going to save you when you were running your mouth?” he shouted at her.
“Let’s talk about this, Segun. You can’t throw my things out every time we have a misunderstanding. There is no way you expect me out of the house by this time of the night,” Mum was begging again.
But dad fired back, “You should have considered the time of night before you opened your stupid mouth to talk trash in front of the kids. Get your daughters and get out of my house, fool.”
“But I only told you that I have an STD, and you should please be careful. I didn’t say anything more; and the kids didn’t even hear me?!” There was panic in her voice now.
“Get out woman, before I do something both of us will regret,” he retorted.
“Ok, I’m sorry. I will just go and sleep now. I am sorry, please don’t throw us out,” her voice was softer now.
Then there was a minute silence before what seemed like an earthquake happened. Father was hitting mother so badly, I could hear her screaming. But I couldn’t leave my sisters because they were screaming harder and crying.
I started screaming as much as I could, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” I kept calling him from behind our locked door. At some point I didn’t hear mother’s voice again.
Scared that she might have been beaten to death, I pushed my sisters out and ran to the sitting room where they had been fighting.
Then, I saw my father raping my mother on the floor.
He was raping her because he pinned her to the ground, holding her two hands up over her head with his hands. She was evidently weak and in pain.
Mother could see me from the corner of her eyes. She cried and screamed that I go back to my room and kept saying “your daughter is behind you,” but my dad could care less.
He continued raping her hard, moaning like he was enjoying it.
I looked around for what I could use to hit him, but I didn’t find anything; and as I wanted to run to the kitchen to grab a knife, I heard the door to my sisters’ room open and I ran to meet them because I didn’t want them to see this. We stayed in together after that.
After about 20 minutes, the door to the room opened, and a woman who was weak, red, frail and tired said to us, ‘get your bags, we are leaving’.
I couldn’t ask questions. I was ashamed on her behalf. I was scared if she talked, father was going to come back. I packed my bags and my sisters’ and we walked to her. We hugged her and she looked at us and said, “I am sorry girls, I should have never said a thing”.
I didn’t know what she meant, but I wanted to leave the house. As we walked out, we saw father waiting by the door for us to leave.
“If you leave the house with your mother, I don’t ever want to see any of you girls again.”
My sisters looked at me, asking for what to do; and as I looked at my mother’s eyes, I knew she would not be able to take care of us, I knew my father will not also care about us as much as mother will.
I looked at my sisters who were waiting for me to say something. They didn’t understand what father meant, but they knew mother was leaving that night and they also knew the plan was to leave with her.
I looked at my father, and then at my mother; and for the first time that night, I broke into tears. I was going to make a decision at 14 years old if I was going to stay at home with my beast of a Father, or go to live nowhere with the sweet little lady who could not even feed herself.
My exams were in three month, I wanted to go to a good University. How do I make the best decision for my sisters and I?
“Are you leaving with your mother or staying? I need to shut my door, it’s almost midnight,” he barked again.
I looked at my mum’s face…
(Watch out for episode 2)