Hello St. Valentine! Your day is here again! Lol
I’m already chuckling hard thinking about writing about this but I will. Lol
As a fine girl whose fineness started from birth🙃, this day brought so much pressure growing up. Whew!
I can genuinely say I always dreaded February because of the 14th because the days leading to it and after it always leave me as a sour hopeless romantic.
In secondary school which was where as girls, we started acting as “girls”, my friends would tease me on how my desk would be filled with letters from secret admirers. They would say how the “big boys” of the class would line with their gifts.
At university, especially after I won the prettiest face on campus in 100L, my roommates would tease me about how the room was going to be filled with gifts.
Then when I started working, my co-workers would make side comments on whether they needed to bring their cars because they knew I might need help taking my gifts home.
Lol!!!!!
So I got anxious during this period. Guess why?!
The anxiety wasn’t about me not getting gifts, it was about me not getting gifts I could show off. I would be hoping that the gift made sense to the people having high hopes. Not to me, but to them! Lol
Then I graduated with having anxiety about not getting acknowledged by the people I secretly liked that have told me they loved me. It became a silent test of their “love”. Lol
However, guess who never got a Valentine’s gift ever? Lol! Yep, moi!
(Well, I got it for the first time after I started dating my husband but that doesn’t count in this gist because then, I was semi-married).
I never got a Valentine’s Day gift and I would laugh it up and move on, but at night I was sad. Sad that no one got me something or acknowledged me as their soulmate, when in reality I was such a hard nut that didn’t collect gifts from dudes. Lol
I was that girl who would return gifts because I had a principle of no gifts from boys/men. Even with male friends I never take gifts. They had to force me to even allow them to pay for my meals or drinks. Lol! I wouldn’t take any gifts. Then I want them to show out on Valentine’s??! To be embarrassed?! Lol But yeah! My novels told me that they were supposed to do something on that day regardless.
I’m laughing so much at it now but it wasn’t funny then.
It used to make me sad for real.
Anyway, then I got married having not experienced “Valentine’s” so you can expect that all the expectations of it went on my husband. Loll!
Yep, another Lol!
My husband is the husband who would ask you what you want. Surprise isn’t in his dictionary.
So every Valentine’s Day, I have this “I don’t care” attitude but deep down I want to experience that feeling of someone showing out on a particular day SURPRISINGLY just to show me that they love me.
If I ever experience it, I’m going to cry. Lol!
Not getting gifts I asked for or being surprised with a gift I don’t like. I mean someone get me say flowers or chocolates or anything that I like?! With a personalised message? I’m going to cry. Lol
But if I haven’t cried in 34 years, Valentine’s Day can skip forever. Loll!
Nevertheless, for the ones who genuinely have great memories of the day, Happy 2024 Valentine’s ❣️.
To the rest of us… in DJ Khalid’s voice… IT’S ANOTHER ONE! Lol!
Meanwhile, I know people say it’s just a day that shouldn’t matter or that you get gifts every time… yen yen yen. To each his own. However, I feel like Valentine’s Day has bullied me so much from a young age, and even though it doesn’t have as much impact on me and I don’t have peer pressure again, I still want to bully it right back. – It’s personal dear!
Ain’t going to die thinking no one showed out for me on Valentine’s… maybe I am! Lol. But let me be “delulu” in peace!
Enjoy your Valentine’s, thanks for reading, and wear RED. Don’t be shy of love.
Fun fact: I always wear red because I’m not pretending I don’t love LOVE😄.
Yeah! I have to compensate one way and feel among.
P.S.: Did I mention I’m a hopeless romantic? Even though I’m a hard girl?! Whew…the battle! Lol
OKBye!
