After I lost my mom, I came to a profound realization: it’s okay to have a void in your life that doesn’t need filling.
For most of my life, whenever I lost someone—whether to death or other circumstances—I felt an immediate and desperate need to fill that void. Sometimes it was because I didn’t know how to function without that support system. Other times, it was because I didn’t want the person who left to think I was stuck, unable to move on without them.
But looking back, I see now that neither of those reasons were valid. Finally, at 35 years old, I understand that it’s okay to have a void. It’s okay.
In fact, more often than not, those attempts at filling the void fail. They’re usually for the wrong reasons, and when you become honest with yourself, you realize they don’t truly work.
I’ve come to accept that I don’t need to find replacements for all the recent losses in my life—including the major one, the loss of my mom.
It’s okay to mourn losses without immediately seeking a replacement. It’s hard, especially when that loss was a vital support system, but it’s okay to let the void be.
